Dad's Passing and Utah Trips 2023

After a week of fight in the ICU at the end of October/early November, dad went into hospice care and passed away at my brother's house on November 7th. For the last 10+ years dad always said he'd lived a good life and that he was ready to go anytime. I noticed his health declining significantly starting about 5 years ago when travel became much more difficult for him, and that much more so 2 years ago when he nearly passed away from a bad ulcer and kidney infection. We knew he could go anytime, yet he still managed to make it to Allison's baptism in September. I'm glad the kids were able to see him so recently before his passing and have so many beautiful memories with their grandfather.

Here are some favorite pictures with my dad just before my mission and while Oscar and I were dating.

Some good ones from my wedding. 

These were from a few trips to Utah and from when he came up to see us in Seattle and meet baby Tyler.

These were from our family reunion at Disneyland in 2014.

A few more Utah trips and our trip to Universal Orlando in 2017.

I got a lot of goodies when mom and dad came to Seattle in August 2018. I love the videos of dad on the Froghopper and the kiddie coaster with Tyler and Allison. Anything for his grandkids!

These were from our southern California Trip in 2019. This is when I first noticed his stamina had significantly declined compared to the previous trips of the last two years. 

5 months later he still drove Mike's kids up to meet as at Silverwood, even though there weren't many rides he could do anymore. Dad was still doing roller coasters on our Universal Orlando trip in 2017, but this trip he could only do the gentle rides.

More Utah Trips in 2019 and 2020

And his last Seattle Trips, including coming up for Tyler's baptism in June of 2021. On that trip dad seemed to be falling asleep all the time everywhere. That was when I first concluded his body was shutting down and that he wouldn't be with us much longer. 

In spite of that he still managed to make two trips to see us in Colorado. That last one for Allison's baptism was a rough trip for both mom and dad, but I'm so glad they were able to be here for it. 

Mom and dad made it home alright from that trip, but later that same day he had a bad fall in the bathroom in the middle of the night. He didn't get injured from the fall, but he declined sharply from there on out. We're not sure when exactly, but in his death certificate it says he'd contracted a bowel infection, Covid, and had a heart attack, all of which culminated in death by Sepsis. The dehydration from those infections also caused him to contract lithium toxicity since he wasn't taking in enough food and water for his daily Lithium to work properly. After another fall in late October, Mike had to come over to help mom get him off the ground and into his chair. He had no ability to stand on his own, even with a walker, so they called an ambulance. Dad told Mike he thought that might be the end, and he was right. After a few days they got the lithium out of his blood, and they gave him medicine to treat the Covid, but they couldn't treat the bowel infection. They tried getting a tube in him that would take antibiotics directly to his intestines, but his body rejected it twice. Without being able to treat that, the medical staff knew he would die of sepsis within a few days. Mike decided to let dad go into hospice care in the front room of his home and asked Malia and I to fly in to say our final goodbyes. He was taken to Mike's around 4pm Sunday and Malia and I flew in Monday morning. Mike had several of his friends come over Sunday evening and tell him how much he'd meant to them when they were growing up.

Dad passed away just before 5pm on Tuesday November 7th surrounded by his wife, children, and grandchildren. He experienced a couple days of what the nurse tells us is called "the surge" when energy and communication returns briefly before death. He barely knew who we all were, but he had brief moments of lucidity when he seemed to understand what was happening. I got to sing for him quite a bit on Monday evening. When I first started I was so emotional I could barely sing, but he said "ooh so pretty," which encouraged me to keep going. He even sang along a few times telling me he loved me and that he was proud of me. When I went to bed I said "I love you dad, goodnight," and he replied "goodnight darlin'." That evening was truly a gift I'm so glad I arrived in time to experience. The next morning he returned to the previous zombie-like state he'd been in at the hospital for a week, but he still bobbed along a bit while we played him some of his favorite songs he'd always put on whenever we went on road trips.

Back home Tyler helped brush Allison's hair. At Mike's I stayed down on the couch bed and played with his cute kittens! They were feral kittens found in Mike's yard, and Mike and Shannon brought them in and gave them homes. Their mom is still out there somewhere. I'm pretty sure I saw her running around the neighborhood when I went out on a walk.

Dad had a spongebath in the early afternoon on Tuesday, followed by sleeping for many hours while snoring very audibly. The photo on the right is a couple hours before he passed. I knew from the noises he was making that he wasn't going to last much longer. 

At one point before I arrived, dad had gotten very upset that he couldn't have a bottle of Diet Coke (he could barely get liquid from a spoon, let alone from a bottle). After he passed we had Diet Coke shots in his honor. 

The next day we helped mom make arrangements at Larkin Mortuary. Dad had wanted to have his body donated to science, but the hospice nurse who came after he passed contacted the University of Utah and found out he wouldn't be able to due to having had Covid. We had him cremated instead by Larkin, where mom intends to be buried and where her family owns several plots. 

We celebrated dad's life at Leatherby's, complete with Malia getting a Grandma's Sunday in his honor. That evening we held a celebration of life for dad with several of Mikes friends and some of mom's family. I enjoyed cuddling with both Max and Mouse. 

After I flew back the next day, Erica dropped me over some flowers, a card, and this yummy simmer sauce she'd been telling me about in our previous hike. We'd hiked together the same Friday when it was decided dad would shortly be going into hospice care.

I returned to Colorado then we all drove to Utah just over a week later to attend dad's memorial and celebrate Thanksgiving with family. Many friends and family asked how I was doing through it all. I said "for the most part I'm doing well. He lived a long life, we knew his health was failing and had plenty of time to prepare for it, we're happy he's out of pain in a better place, we have faith in eternal families, and he passed away surrounded in love, the way he wanted to go. What I don't think I fully appreciated until after he'd passed was just how much dad understood and valued quality time. While he was always up for doing fun things with us, he was just as happy to simply be visiting and having good conversations with us. Even without the conversations, he wanted to be near us. Often the kids would just play their tablets while sitting on his lap." We enjoyed our time in Utah, but I definitely missed my dad being there to enjoy it with us. Here's a link to the Facebook post I wrote with some of my favorite pictures of dad spending time with us. 

On that trip to Utah the kids enjoyed cuddling with the kittens and Oscar and I got to see the new Hunger Games movie. 

We also took them down to Temple Square, to meet up with Havertz cousins at the the church history building, and to do a fun scavenger hunt around the Conference center. 

Here they are making an ornament craft at the church history building. 

I'd wanted to take them to see the large Christus statue at Temple Square, but apparently that's been put in storage while extensive renovations are being done at Temple Square. There is a smaller one in the Conference Center, though. It's part of the Scavenger Hunt. I actually ran into my friend Annie from Edmonds, WA, who told me about it. She was our choreographer when we put on "Pirates of Penzance." She'd come to Utah to attend a wedding and see her family for Thanksgiving. While the kids played in the children's area at the Church History building, I'd walked around the museum and run into her there. 

On Tuesday Oscar and I went to a session at the Jordan River Temple during the day. Later that evening we attended dad's memorial, which went really well. I think he was appropriately honored, and mom's friends and family came to support her through it. This was a beautiful video Shannon made of pictures throughout dad's life. Mike wrote this lovely obituary for him.  

Robert William Jinks “Bob” (May 4, 1944 - November 7, 2023)

Robert William Jinks, aged 79, passed away peacefully on November 7, 2023, at 4:57 PM. Surrounded by the love of his family, Robert departed this world at his son's home in West Jordan, Utah.

Early Life:

Born on May 4, 1944, in St. Helena, California, Robert was the cherished son of Patrick Howard Jinks and Ruth Emma Junkins. Alongside his sibling, Michael Thomas Jinks, he experienced a vibrant childhood filled with the unique joys of Northern California.

Education and Career:

Robert was a distinguished alumnus of Tahoe-Truckee High School and Sierra Jr. College. He furthered his education at The Regents of the University of California and graduated from the University of California, Berkeley Law School with a Juris Doctor. His time at Berkeley was marked by significant achievements, including acceptance into prestigious Order of the Coif, contributing to the California Law Review, and numerous American Jurisprudence awards for his exceptional academic work. In his professional life, Robert served with dedication at the US Court of Appeals in Hawaii. He later co-founded his own law practice, Jinks & Flick. Known for his unwavering commitment to justice, Robert courageously stood up for his clients, undeterred by intimidation or threats, embodying the true spirit of a legal advocate.

Personal Life:

Robert married Merrilene Luker on March 15, 1980, in West Jordan, Utah. Two years later, their union was further strengthened as they were sealed for time and all eternity in the West Jordan Temple. Bob was a devoted father to Malia Kawaguchi, Michael Patrick Jinks, and Stacy Lee Hunt, and a loving grandfather to Alex, Ethan, Emma, Sophie, Tyler, and Allison. Robert's greatest joy was his family, with whom he loved to golf, take trips in the RV, and play card games like Spades and Hearts. His presence brought warmth and joy to every family gathering.

Funeral Service Details:

A service to celebrate Robert's life will be held on November 21, 2023, at 6:30 PM, in the LDS chapel at 8950 S 1300 W, West Jordan, UT 84088. Light refreshments will be provided after the service. A video link will be provided closer to the service, for those unable to attend in-person.

Closing Thoughts:

As we remember Bob, we are reminded of his love, strength, and dedication. In lieu of flowers, Bob would have wanted you to take your family out for dinner and an activity, to cherish the moments as he cherished his time with his family.

In reference to the part about "undeterred by intimidation or threats," one of my favorite stories my dad would tell is when someone called to tell him they were going to have him killed if he didn't withdraw his lawsuit against them. He said "well, you'd better make sure you really kill me then, because if you try and I don't die, I'm just going to be mad as hell and I will do everything in my power to bring you down." He never heard from them again.

We spent Wednesday with Julia and family during the day, then with Melissa and family during the evening. We picked up a bunch of food at Hungry Howie's and had dinner and played Headbandz with them. 

On Thanksgiving Oscar ran a local Turkey Trot and we went over to visit Grandma Hatch. She enjoyed scratching Allison's back while Tyler and I played his Christmas music for her. 

We returned to Martha's briefly to say hello to some of her extended family that had come for Thanksgiving, but we didn't stay for the meal. Mom and Shannon had prepared a meal, so we went down there to celebrate with them.

Afterwards we played Telestrations. Allison got "doggy bag." She's not familiar with that term referring to leftovers, so she drew two dogs in a bag. These are the guessing and drawings that resulted from it. The kids LOVED that game! 

Allison gave Emma and Sophie a drawing tutorial on how to draw a dragon. The twins are both excellent artists already, so I really appreciate that they played along with Allison and let her instruct them on how to draw appropriately. 

They headed up to celebrate another Thanksgiving meal with Shannon's family while we drove up to Julia's house for another delicious meal with Oscar's siblings and parents. On our way back to Marcus and Martha's we saw a house with a light show and drove through Layton Commons Park to see Christmas lights. 

The next day Julia came over to cut Tyler's hair, Allison's hair, Martha's hair, and my hair. Oscar said she should cut his too, so she cute his leg hair. 

In the afternoon William gave us messages (the pic above is me being massage drunk afterwards) and got Thai food with him and Nadia. Afterwards we went back down to Mikes and played some more games. 

The next morning we drove home, but we got a flat tire on our way. Only one tire repair shop was still open, so Oscar put on our donut in frigid temperatures and drove over there. They were only open for a couple more hours. We got so lucky it happened when and where it did or we might have been stuck in Wyoming until Monday.

We got home that evening much later than planned, and our kitties were super lovey. I told Mike "young and cute is fun, but old and sweet is pretty great too!"