Monday, March 19, 2018

Timeline 2017

As I read back through these posts, I realize just how much this year  revolved around Tyler. He'd been kicked out of our old gym, LA Fitness, in mid December, he was always a lot to handle around Allison at home, and by February I had to remove him from preschool when his inability to keep his hands to himself began making it impossible for him to be around his peers and to participate in age appropriate activities. The theme of that entire year was "how do we help Tyler and how do we prevent him from hurting other kids?" After getting progressively worse we saw a complete turnaround in his behavior by the end of the year, so I'll include his progress in italics in my recap of each month.

Early in the year Allison became famous when she made the Everett library's Facebook page. She also learned how to climb downstairs safely and began transitioning from two naps down to one. Ty went back and forth about if he was getting a nap or not (and often fell asleep on the floor in quiet time), and Oscar ran his first 1/2 marathon in over 5 years. Tyler also began solving jigsaw puzzles independently, and we purchased memberships to both the Children's Museum and the YMCA.

A large part of the reason the Y appealed to me was that they separate their kids under 3 years old from those 3 and up. At the time I was really struggling to take both kids anywhere because Allison was a busy toddler and Tyler was a bigger, stronger, smarter, faster version of a toddler. I figured even if he was too wild for me to leave him there to go workout, I could at least stay with him and let him burn some energy in the Adventure Zone or on the outdoor playground while Allison was being cared for in the Child Watch. They also had other activities not available at our old gym (toddler time, parent/child class, swimming, etc.), so it really opened up a wide array of options for me.

 At the tail end of February, we were able to get Tyler seen by a psychologist who immediately identified him as having classic ADHD. While we still had a long way to go in our journey towards improvement, it was very nice to finally understand what was going on and to know we weren't just failing at parenting.


In March Allison started saying a bunch more words by imitating us. Her climbing skills were becoming scary good, and she started looking at paper books instead of instantly destroying them. We celebrated my 35th birthday with some amazingly delicious food cooked by Oscar, and Tyler's building skills got pretty impressive. Ty's ADHD challenges became if anything more intense, but we were able to start the process of getting him qualified for special needs preschool.

Read more in March 2017 Through Early April 2017 and Our ADHD Journey: Part I

In mid-April we met up with my family in Orlando, Florida to visit Universal Studios. This was a fun but challenging trip. It taught me a lot about myself and how to accomodate my own vacation desires with that of my children. The constant stimulation made Tyler happy, but both kids struggled not having the routine they were used to while being in a new, unfamiliar environment,

Read more in

Orlando Trip with Kids: Part I - Flight and Hotel Arrival


Florida had spoiled the kids a bit, so I had to keep them super busy or they made me crazy at home. We got out as much as we could and made our new memberships well worth it. Oscar and Tyler both participated in Comcast Cares Day, and the kids had a lot of fun at Healthy Kids Day at the YMCA and Dia de los Ninos at the Chennault Beach Branch.

 Shortly after our return from Florida Ty was able to start occupational therapy, something we'd been on a waiting list for for over 2 months. Though Ty didn't make any progress during that time, we did learn from his OT evaluation that he has the tactile sensory seeking form of Sensory Processing Disorder. This helped us understand many things ADHD couldn't explain on its own.


In May Ty had fun at the Touch a Truck festival, we celebrated his and Oscar's birthdays, Allison figured out how to climb up and down the changing table, and I accidentally give myself a black eye.

That month Tyler started play therapy, but his therapist told us there was little he could do with a child so unfocused. He also returned to preschool for two weeks so he could be evaluated by the school district in a school setting. He had similar behavioral problems to what we'd been experiencing in February, so I only kept him in until the evaluation was over. We were then given the okay by his pediatrician to try a low dose, generic ritalin, but it was a terrible experience. I couldn't even keep him on it a full week. It did make him more focused and less hyperactive and impulsive, but it also aggravated his moods. He was constantly on edge, defiant, sad, and angry until his meds wore off, and then he'd rebound and become happily wild and crazy and unable to keep his hands to himself again.

Read more in May 2017

In June Allison learned how to kiss and how to wipe up messes with a towel. We also discovered her love for popcorn chicken, she learned how to say and catch "bubbles," and she danced adorably at the YMCA World Dance Party. Oscar braved the dunk tank at work and all 3 of us got to dunk him one time.

After our terrible experience with Ritalin, Ty's pediatrician prescribed a non-stimulant called Guanfacine, which did help his ADHD. I was in shock when I watched him entertain himself for nearly the entire first hour of church simply by playing with seven coins I had in my wallet. His building skills at home, which were already very good, went through the roof now that he could focus on them better. His play therapist and occupational therapist were both impressed with his new focus and said he was making great progress with them. Oscar was also happy to see how much less hyperactive and impulsive Tyler was when they went out on a hike. It had several unexpected cliff dropoffs, so it would not have been safe for an unmedicated Tyler.

 It was definitely helping his ADHD, but he was sad, tired, and moody far more often than any four year old should be. They did tell us the tiredness would improve over time, and it did, but it never went away entirely, and it made his mood swings nearly impossible to work through. We'd stopped the Ritalin because it made him angry and on edge all the time. This, on the other hand, made him grumpy, sad, anxious, and oversensitive to stimulus. His moods were noticeably better in the morning before he'd had medicine and later in the evening when it was starting to wear off. Unfortunately it became completely unmanageable for me. He'd get scared and run out into the road just because people started walking towards him, he'd yell at people simply for waving or saying "hi" to him, he'd panic, throw a huge fit, and run away because the clerk at the children's museum offered him a stamp (something he usually loves), he couldn't enjoy himself nearly as much on fun outings as he can unmedicated, he started having trouble sleeping (waking up scared multiple times throughout the night), and he'd get really upset and sad over incredibly minor things.

Tyler once brought me out this Lego dinosaur pictured above. I was delighted! It was the first time I'd ever seen him build something so specific. I praised him excitedly saying "what an incredible dinosaur! Great work! Is it a girl dinosaur or a boy dinosaur?" He got so mad at me, yelling at me with tears in his eyes as if I'd offended everything he'd ever believed in or cared about. I tried to comfort him, but he was completely inconsolable. Everything I did only seemed to make him that much more upset. In the end I had to lock him in his room to cry out the fit because he wouldn't stop screaming in my face. This kind of thing happened multiple times on a daily basis. We'd be trying to praise him and/or gently encourage him with positive parenting, but it only made him sad and upset over literally nothing. We weren't the only people he'd react this way to. He could do it just as easily to a stranger kindly greeting him or telling him he was a handsome. 

 Admitedly, he also had these sorts of reactions unmedicated. Once we were at library storytime a couple days after Mother's Day, so the librarian sang "Bingo" with these words "I have a grownup. Love her so and Mommy is her name-o. M-O-M-M-Y." Tyler completely freaked out screaming at her "It's not mommy! It's Bingo! DON'T SAY MOMMY!!!" The difference was, I could calm him down then. I put him in my lap and explained that she was just substituting different words to recognize Mother's Day. It took a minute for him to settle, but soon he went back to playing. 

 Once he was medicated on both the Ritalin and the Guanfacine, I could not calm down his fits. He had to blow through them himself, and it always took a LONG time. Lots of one on one attention from an adult helped, but I often couldn't give that to him when I had a busy Allison to keep an eye on too. I'd be chasing her around trying to keep her safe with him following me around trying to grab onto my shirt while screaming and crying. Outings were incredibly hard. I felt like I was drowning.

 I felt incredibly conflicted. Finally we'd found something that helped his ADHD, but he was miserable. I felt horrible having to choose between his ADHD and his happiness. I began wondering if he had some sort of mood disorder on top of the ADHD. Guanfacine is meant to have a calming, sedative like effect. Mood issues are not a typical side effect. The doctor concluded it was more likely that the ADHD was masking some hidden anxiety and offered to prescribe him a low dose Prozac. Prozac takes several weeks to get in the system, so it was late summer before we would be able to tell if it was helping or not.

Read more in

Early Summer 2017: Part I - Daily Cuteness


We went to a lot of parks and beaches that summer. Read more about the good times in Early Summer 2017: Part II - Playtime

I only include the fun moments in these posts, but outings were actually very challenging with both kids. Ty was extra clingy and moody while Allison was running around happily with zero sense of danger. I really struggled trying to keep him happy and to keep her safe. I had to be a hypervigilant, helicopter parent at all times. I was madly jealous of other moms who could chat with each other happily while only occasionally glancing at their kids. Ty could have fun and enjoy himself, but he always started off moody for at least 15 minutes, and he'd say he was done and ready to go home well before Allison or I was. Anytime I took him anywhere, even if I'd fully prepared him for where we were going, what we'd be doing, and who would be there, he'd cry and hide behind me when we arrived. When I'd ask him to stand on the sidewalk while I got Allison out of her car seat, he'd run into the street to get to me simply because a pedestrian started walking towards him. When he did play, he nearly always wanted to play alone. 

 Usually he'd be okay after his initial freak out, but sometimes he never warmed up to it. One time I'd gotten him pumped up and excited to go to the park only to have him complain about how much he wanted to go home the entire time. One of the kids even came up and wanted to play with him, to which Tyler responded by getting upset, pushing him to the ground, and telling him to go away. That was when I lost control. Two types of therapy and medication and here I was feeling no better able to manage my child than I was 6 months earlier. I strapped both kids in the car and spent the whole time crying while yelling myself hoarse at Tyler "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE FUN AT A PLAYGROUND? WHY CAN'T YOU PLAY NICELY WITH OTHER KIDS WHO WANT TO BE YOUR FRIENDS? WHY? WHY? WHY?" 

We did receive word from the Mukilteo school district that Tyler had been accepted into the special education preschool program, which I knew would be good for him. His therapy was one on one, and while he did benefit from it, it didn't help him socially. School would, and this time he'd have teachers aware of his issues and trained in how to address them. At minimum I'd get a 3 hour break each morning while I only had to worry about one child instead of two. Unfortunately his acceptance didn't go through until late June, so he wouldn't be able to start school until September 6th. I knew school would make a huge difference (and it did), but it was 8 months from when I first heard about its existence before we could benefit from it.

Oscar mercifcully gave me some relief on the weekends by taking Tyler on regular Saturday adventures. Ty still had mood issues, but it was much easier to work through them with him when one of us could give him one on one attention. He had considerably more fun on single outings with daddy or outings with the whole family than he ever did with Allison and me during the week.


In July we took a Trip to Utah to visit family. The kids played in granny and grandpa's backyard when we first arrived on Saturday, then went out to Uncle Mike's to play and go to church with the cousins on Sunday, then we came back to the Hunt house to have dinner with more cousins. Ty and I had fun at Lagoon on Monday.

Our families immediately noticed how much better Ty's behavior was now that he was on medication. I'd been afraid that his current level of anxiety would make this trip miserable for him, but he actually had less mood swings with so many cousins around. Things that would normally bother him, like getting splashed in the face on a water ride, were fun because his cousins were on the ride with him enjoying it. It was also easier to help him through the mood swings he did have with Oscar and plenty of other familiar adults around to love him and show him attention.


On Tuesday Ty went fishing with all the boys on the Hunt side, and on Wednesday we went out with my family to the Thanksgiving Point Museum and Top Golf. On Thursday Ty and I went to Lagoon again and this time Malia and Hana and Mike and Shannon were able to come too. On Friday we took the kids to visit Grandma Hatch before Oscar and I visited the Ogden Temple.  

Read more in Utah Trip 2017: Part II (July 18th - 21st)

On Saturday the kids and I hung out at Mike's house before going swimming at his gym's awesome pool. On Sunday we went up to church with Oscar's family in Layton and later that evening got the entire extended Hunt family together for pictures. On Monday we celebrated the 24th of July with a pool party and a night at Boondocks before getting one last night of sleep and heading for home the next day. 

Read more in Utah Trip 2017: Part III (July 22nd - July 25th)

During our final 6 weeks of summer Allison started bouncing on people's bellies and started showing more interest in sit down activities. She said "woo hoo!" for the first time and scarred up her face trying to jump 4 feet off a playground ledge into Tyler's arms. I bought a kiddie pool and a friend handed us down a small slide, so the kids spent a lot of time splashing around in our backyard.

Tyler made a lot of great progress too. He meant his first apology, he started playing independently for longer periods of time, and his puzzle solving skills increased significantly. We also discovered Ypals swimming at the YMCA. He was still having occasional troubles in the Y child care (he bit a kid at the end of August before apologizing and giving him a hug), but we've never had to worry about him at Ypals. The water slows him down so he can't get too physical with the other kids, and it gives him a great outlet to burn his excess energy.

 By the time the Prozac had been in his system long enough to make a difference, we realized it was making him happy, but it was doing so by making him ridiculously overly physical and hyperactive again. It was basically cancelling out the effects of the guanfacine. It felt no different from when he was completely unmedicated. They increased the guanfacine to counteract that, but then he'd just have periods of overly tired and moody interspersed with crazy hyperactive and impulsive. They recommended switching him to the extended release guanfacine, which did improve things a bit. He seemed to receive a more stable amount of medication throughout the day rather than getting too much at some points and not enough at others. They also took him off the Prozac, but it took several weeks for it to get it out of his system.


I kept the kids busy during those final weeks of summer, mostly for Allison's sake and because it was too hot to stay at home with only our small portable air conditioner. We had a lot of fun at the Farm at Swan's Trail for Oscar's work's annual party, we enjoyed watching the 90% eclipse at Paine Field Park, Oscar ran the Run-A-Muk 10K with the kids running around adorably with him after he crossed the finish line, and Tyler started introducing himself to other kids and learning how to make friends.


I was still struggling to keep both kids and those around them happy and safe, but I felt much less stress and anxiety over it now that I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel with school starting in September. There were still some pretty rough days, though, like when they both completely melted down during our one trip to Jetty Island. Tyler was also super moody when I took him to Wild Waves with auntie Malia and cousin Hana. He had moments when he was really enjoying it, but he seemed tired (in spite of sleeping most of the drive down), and he begged to go home around 1. He'd been looking forward to this outing for months only to be sad the whole time. It was days like that that just crushed me, when I'd put so much effort into planning a fun day for him only to have him grumpy the entire time.

The same week Tyler had his first day of school Amy came to visit us. Her work was holding a conference in Portland, but she flew in to see us the weekend before it started.


I dropped her down to Portland on Monday. On the way we stopped off at Johnson Ridge Observatory to see Mt St Helens up close. I then drove home on Tuesday morning and drove back down on Thursday afternoon. We took a hike up to Beacon Rock after her conference was over and took the Portland Aerial Tram later that evening.


On Friday we drove to the Oregon Coast and finally got to see Thor's Well

On Saturday we had tons of fun going bunjee jumping and doing other fun activities at Mt Hood.



And on our final day we took it easy and hung around Portland. She flew home and I drove home early the next morning.



In September Tyler started school with Mukilteo's special education preschool program. His teacher is strict and hypervigilant with him, which has helped considerably with his boundary pushing and helping him understand how to behave appropriately around others. 

Oscar made Ty a new twin size bed that can also convert into a loft bed, though he's not quite ready for that yet. Allison started playing more independently with stickers, playdoh, solving basic wood and block puzzles, and figuring out how to work the Scout reading toy. Nibbler fell asleep with Allison one night in her crib and Allison spent one night in the ER when I accidently gave her Ty's medication. In October they helped daddy carve a two faced pumpkin and were absolutely adorable trick or treating. We also got in a car accident in early October which was clearly not our fault but 5+ months later we're still waiting to be reimbursed our deductible and our rental car costs.  

Once the Prozac was out of Ty's system he was moody and anxious again, though not as badly as before we'd switched over to the extended release guanfacine. We tried a mild mood stabilizer called Trilaptel, which was completely useless. We tried increasing the dosage. It made zero difference. We took him off of it, and I wouldn't have known anything had changed. His psychiatrist considered putting him on a stronger mood stabilizer (Risperdal) and even had him have a blood test and an EKG done to make sure his heart could handle it.


Oscar and I used our groupon to do the ropes course and ziplining that recently opened up near our house. Read more in Fall 2017: High Trek Adventures at Paine Field. We also had tons of festive fun with Halloween parties, pumpkin patches, and other fun activities at church and at the Children's Museum. Read more in Fall 2017: Adventures for the Kiddos.



Winter literally came on November 1st with drastic changes in temparature and snow. Oscar built Allison a toddler bed which she transitioned to without a problem, she started singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" on her own, and she learned how to use the Ipad. There was a fun gingerbread house building party at Tyler's school, the kids helped put up and decorate our Christmas tree, and Oscar and I attended the Comcast company Christmas party in downtown Everett. 


Though Tyler had passed the blood tests and the EKG, his psychiatrist wanted to try a different medication for his ADHD before we attempted the strong mood stabilizer he'd had in mind. He prescribed a tiny dose of Aderall. Aderall is a stimulant like Ritalin, so I was terrified of it having a similar aggravating effect on his moods, but he told me it's made of different ingredients so it doesn't always have the same side effects. We tried it very timidly. I only wanted to give it to Tyler in the morning when I could watch him. I gave it to him on Friday morning after he was done with school for the week. His moods were no worse and he was pretty well behaved. It was a subtle effect since the dosage was so small, and he'd already been showing significant improvements since starting school, so we didn't know if we had the Aderall to thank for it or if he was just having a good day. We weren't in the habit of giving him daytime medicine anymore (the extended release guanfacine is only taken at night), so we forgot over the next two days and then he was back in school Monday - Thursday. I gave it to him again the following Friday, and again, he did well without any additional mood difficulties. If anything his moods seemed a little better. We concluded it was working and started giving it to him more often.

 It has been life changing! It helps him stay focused and makes him much less physical and impulsive, but he can still have fun, be silly and hyper with other kids, and he's my sweet, happy little boy again. The Ritalin zapped him of his spirit. This doesn't. His spirit is still there, but he has more control over his brain and body. He still sticks out among his non ADHD peers, but he's much, much more manageable. He still has mood swings that can be very challenging, but we can work through them with him and don't currently feel the need to medicate them. I did notice he was still having some overtiredness/grumpiness issues, so they let me take him off the daytime Guanfacine, which helped considerably. Now it only lasts 12 hours and I only give it to him in the evening to help him settle down for bed. Ty just really doesn't like feeling tired during the day. Once we got rid of that, he was so much happier. We also bumped him up to a full pill of Aderall in the morning to help him focus in school, therapy, and church, but we keep him at a half pill during the afternoon since there's no need for him to have that much extra focus.

 I can't express how wonderful it is to have found something that works! School has made a huge difference too. Even on days we've forgotten to medicate him, he's still much better socially than he was at the beginning of the year. We used to get complaints every time we left him around other children in someone else's care. Now we haven't had a concerning complaint in months! 

We also went on a lot of Christmas adventures this past season since I love the lights and festivities. I took Ty down to Seattle, we got to meet Santa at the Childrens Museum, and Ty did his first race at the Jingle Bell Run with Oscar. When mom got there we went to the Christmas train ride at Cedar Crest Golf Course, ran around in the Fantastic Playtorium at Alderwood Mall, met Santa at Fred Meyer, and played at Chuck E Cheese.
I also sang at the Nativity Festival in Arlington, made two trips with the family and with mom down to the lightshow at Evergreen Church in Bothell, and mom and I took the kids down for a fun night at WildWaves with Lights. Ty was so much happier there than he had been when we came down in the summer, in spite of the extra cold. The only time he got grumpy was after he accidentally sat down in a puddle of water on one of the rides. We'd made the medication changes by then, and I was so happy to seen him having fun on outings again.

And for the first time in nearly a decade, we had a genuine White Christmas. 

Read more in Christmas 2017


It was a hard year for me, maybe even the hardest of my life. But it was so worth it!
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1 comment:

  1. UnknownMarch 19, 2018 at 1:26 PM

    Wow Stacy after reading this I am so happy that Tyler is doing so much better Glad he enjoys his pre school which gives you a break so you can care for Ali.I absolutely love all the wonderful pictures and seeing how well and and much fun they are having and so glad you are able to get them out of the house on warm days. It does make a huge difference and does show that with each year there is more growth with the children.

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